The Beginning....

 One day I met the love of my life Shawn..I really never thought I would find someone who was so much alike me in so many ways,  & love me unconditionally!! Now that I have him, I could never imagine it any different:) We were married July 9th 2005.It was the best feeling ever to know your journey was just beginning. At first we had 2 children Dillan and Avery, until we met Chase.At first it was scary knowing I was not just a mom to one but 2 then 3 kids. They have all really grown in there own little ways. Dillan was shy for long time but he has opened up like you wouldnt believe.He is so caring, loves god & his family, so strong as setting a good example as a big brother. When he plays baseball you can see the love for it! Avery has been a strong trooper from the beginning being a sick infant up until now.She was diagnosed with Crohns & thalassemia along with some MRSA at age 1 1/2. Lots of hospital stays & colonoscopys. I feel like God has a great plan for her one day. We met our baby boy Chase who is a healthy baby born on October 10th. He is always wanting to give out a hug or kiss. That child is not shy by any means..haha, He is very sneaky but very sweet. We recently found out we were expecting a new little blessing on June 17th 2011. The day I found out was at a hospital visit b/c I was having alot of lower back pain,bleeding, fever 103 and blood in urine. I was 8 weeks prego & diagnosed with a kidney infection. The doctors told me the infection was so bad that if the fetus was still alive or lived it would be miracle. At that point I was more worried about getting better than anthing else.They took me down for ultra-sound to make sure it was not etopic which it wasnt! There was a little dot in my belly & strong heart beat. From then on I had follow up ultrasounds with a ob doc to keep eye on me. I was getting so happy until I went one morning to the doctor when I was 12 weeks & she found a thickened Nuchal Fold through ultrasound. She explained that it could be a sign for edward sydrome, down sydrome or other chromosomal problems. She explained all the risks of each one.She printed out pictures and you could clearly see the fluid around the back of the neck. So then from there she sent me to have blood work and get a referral to a maternal fetal med doc. My life then shattered..I felt like I had just walked out of the doctors office with no hope at all. I had the knot in your belly and the feeling of what am I going to do! It was the longest 2 weeks ever waiting on tests. Eventually I just got to where all I did for the past days was cry and call the doctors for those tests everyday!!  I prayed every day more than I can even remember. Here I  was  later I  met with the spec doctor who performed a level 2 ultrasound to look more at everything when I was 13 1/2 weeks. He said the fluid was a little over a 3 and I had hope. I just kept telling him how do you put out 3 healthy kids and one day this happen. He explained to me its not something that has to run in your family or anything. It just happens but if it does run in your family your at greater risk and if your older over 35. I explained to him all the tests I had done before and he assured me that the amnio was the most accurate test 99.9 to do in this situation b/c the blood work has some false results.I just started bawling! He said me being so early there was a chance of a club foot but it was a very small chance like 1 in 200. I felt like I had enough of waiting and still knew nothing about the others, so I decided to do it right then! My heart pounding and the tears kept flowing. He told me it felt like a little bee sting and my tummy may feel crampy afterwards but that the results would be in less than 10 days. To tell the truth it hurt worse than my belly button ring!!! I was a basket case and all I wanted was prayer and guidance. I just didnt know if I was going to loose him or have no choice but to abort. Right before Chirstmas 2010 the genetic counselor called  like 4 days later and told me that the amnio was negative! She said the amnio did show I was a carrier for cystic fib and so would the baby. She asked if we had found out what we were having and I told her no. She said it looks like the baby has a Y chromosone so that means boy!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told her I really wanted a girl but after all this I am just glad God is giving us healthy baby:) She said the doc had found some fluid around the heart & the nuchal fold was a little over 3 the last time he seen me too..Since the tests did come back negative the doctor said it could still mean he could have heart defect. Heart defects can cause fluid to back up under the skin. Me and Shawn decided on naming him after Noah in the bible b/c he was faithful & strong to God. I went for my fetal ecko and anatomy scan on Tuesday 1/17/2011 and 18 weeks  the maternal fetal med doc said 4 chambers of the heart looked great! Noah still has some fluid around his neck and some around his heart but it looks like its went down alot..They looked at his cords that help with your spinal cord..They found a small cyst on his brain..He said it could all go way on its own but its still something they want to watch and evaluate. He told me at this point he thinks the worst part is over and was optimistic. He said he may need other medical attention but he thinks everything is going to be ok..It was nice to hear that..When I walked away from that appt I couldnt have felt more blessed! I have had such a great family, friends and church family!This whole time we couldnt buy anything for him at the store and was afraid of having baby shower and getting the nursery ready. At this point I can say all those impossible feelings I was feeling really could be put to rest. I feel bad now knowing I questioned God why?!?! Why me! Havent we been through enough watching Avery suffer??! esc.. God has been here from the beginning..He wont ever give you more than you can handle nor will he for sake you even when we think its more..The devil was putting all the doubt in my mind and I was letting him get the best of me. God knew before we even knew about Noah how everything was going to go and be..I would have alot regret knowing I didnt make the best of carrying Noah Lander..Thats why I am going to continue keeping my chin high and bible close.Its sad to say that sometimes we have to go down those roads for God to see how much faith we do have. In time of need if you dont have him you will be lonely in a dark hole but through him all things are possible!! Thanks everyone for prayers and thoughts. We will keep this updated.